Forgiveness Process for Students in Assignment Groups

This research was conducted to determine the dynamics of student forgiveness in a work group. The number of subjects in this research were 4 students who had been in a task group and had felt disappointed and hurt by the treatment of members in one group. This research used a qualitative approach with a phenomenological research design. This was done to obtain more in-depth results regarding the dynamics of student forgiveness. The data analysis method used in this research was thematic analysis. The results of this research showed the dynamics of student forgiveness were different. From the four subjects, there were subjects who had forgiven, there were also those who were in the process of forgiving and there were subjects who had not yet forgiven. The three aspects explained by Nashori (2011) were also revealed in this research, meaning that four subjects brought up aspects of forgiveness conveyed by Nashori (2011). Apart from that, the most important finding in the research was the existence of forms of forgiveness from students and the process of giving forgiveness.


INTRODUCTION
Students as an academic community will always be in the middle of the group.One of the functions of forming groups is to accommodate aspirations and provide input to students.Apart from that, with a group, everyone's coordination will be easier and more efficient, because there is a platform that can be used.
Ideally, each member in a group can understand, protect and remind each other in ways that do not hurt either party.As stated by Soekanto, a group is an association or unit of people who live together, because of the relationships between them, these relationships include, among other things, reciprocal relationships that influence each other and also an awareness of helping each other [1].
A person who chooses to join a group will go through various stages of group development.According to Sarwono, there are several stages of group development, one of which is the rebellion stage [2].If a group member's behavior does not match expectations or follow the rules and flow within the group, then that person will be ostracized.These behaviors will cause conflict within the group.
Conflict in groups is often caused by errors in communication between members.As reported by the Sindo newspaper, there was a group of students who came and attacked another student group's rented house due to a communication error by one of the members of each group [3].Apart from that, there were also clashes between students that occurred recently, as reported by Okezone, the clashes occurred due to misunderstandings between students from 3 faculties, resulting in attacks between the faculties [4].
Brawls and clashes often occur among students due to misunderstandings.Apart from that, misunderstandings and communication errors often occur in student assignment groups.
Where students as an academic community have their own opinions and views.However, opinions that always want to maintain, words and attitudes that accidentally do will hurt the feelings of other members.This can make other members hurt, disappointed, and feel excluded.Some people will store all forms of painful negative feelings, thoughts and behavior that they have experienced.But not for some people.They choose to forgive all the negative attitudes they have experienced.Students in task groups will come up with various ways to deal with member behavior.There are those who sincerely and willingly forget, there are those who admit to forgetting but still bring up painful incidents, and there are also those who do not forgive any form of negative behavior from other members towards themselves.
Because there are various reactions that a student may display in a task group, this research will focus on forgiveness carried out by students.Especially students who are in a group where they carry out a task together and have felt disappointed or hurt by the attitude of members of the group.
Islam commands its followers to forgive those who have hurt them.Therefore, forgiveness is a path towards creating a feeling of mutual love between fellow human beings.Apart from that, in Islam it is also forbidden to take revenge for crimes or bad things done by other people.As Allah SWT says: "If you express a virtue, hide it or forgive (other people) a mistake, then indeed Allah is Forgiving and Almighty" (An-Nisa: 149) [5].
There are several concepts of forgiveness in Islam such as awf meaning forgiveness, safhu meaning moving away from sin or staying away from mistakes, ghafara meaning covering, erasing sins, giving forgiveness, and samah meaning appeasing, being generous, and accepting other people's behavior [6].
According to Iman Qurthubi [7] based on Surah Ash-Shura: 40, believers are divided into two groups.The first group is the group of people who forgive people who have wronged them.The second group is the group that takes revenge on people who have wronged them.The position of the person who forgives is more important than the person who apologizes, as Rasulullah told his people to forgive first before other people apologize to us.
"And the reward for an evil is an appropriate evil, but whoever forgives and does good (to people who do evil) then the reward will be from Allah..." (ash-Shura: 40) [8].
"Forgive him seventy times a day" (HR.Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi) [9].This is because people who forgive before others apologize, will get more blessings from Allah.Forgiveness in western psychology is better known as forgiveness.Forgiveness according to [10]. is to erase all hurt feelings that have been experienced and their impacts such as lawsuits from other people.Furthermore, according to [10] there are two parts to forgiveness, namely leaving negative situations and growing and improving positive conditions.There has been a lot of research on forgiveness [11]; [6]; [12].It is stated that forgiveness is a sincere act of forgiving a mistake that has been committed by another person, even though that person should not be forgiven [11].
According to the Indonesian Dictionary Compilation Team, forgiveness means releasing someone from punishment (charges, fines, guilt, etc.) because of a mistake they have committed [13].Meanwhile, forgiveness can be interpreted as giving forgiveness for mistakes and so on, not considering it wrong anymore.
Forgiveness has the desire to leave behind feelings of anger, negative judgments about things, and indifferent behavior towards other people who have hurt them unfairly, and on the other hand develop feelings of pity, generosity, even undue love towards people who have hurt them.Enright also states that forgiveness is more than just accepting what has happened, stopping or no longer being angry, being neutral about the object of forgiveness, making other people feel comfortable or better, thereby improving the welfare of one's own mental health [11].[10] define forgiveness as a process of neutralizing the source of stress resulting from a painful interpersonal relationship.According to Wardhati and Faturochman, forgiveness is an effort to get rid of all desires for revenge and personal hurt towards the guilty party or the person who hurt them and has the desire to build relationships again [10].

Strelan and Covic
There are three aspects of forgiveness, namely feelings, thoughts and behavior [11].Baumeister, Exline, and Sommer divide forgiveness into two aspects, namely the intrapsychic dimension and the interpersonal dimension.The intrapsychic aspect includes emotional and cognitive aspects, while the interpersonal aspect includes the social aspect of forgiveness [10].
Furthermore, there are 3 aspects of forgiveness, namely emotional aspects, cognitive aspects, and interpersonal aspects [10].
Here's the explanation: First, the emotional aspect.In the emotional aspect, forgiveness is related to the feelings of the person who was the victim towards the perpetrator.A person who has positive feelings will have feelings of liking, respect and feelings such as love and care for the person who has hurt him [11].When someone has forgiven another person, feelings of empathy, pity and compassion for the other person begin to emerge.
There are several indicators of the emotional aspect, namely: (1) leaving feelings of anger, hurt, hatred; (2) remaining able to control emotions when treated unpleasantly by other people; (3) Feeling pity and affection for the perpetrator; and (4) Feel comfortable when interacting with the perpetrator [10].
Second, the cognitive aspect.The cognitive aspect of forgiveness is related to a person's thoughts about unpleasant events they have experienced.Someone who has forgiven will change negative thoughts that the person who hurt him is a bad person, problematic, does not care about becoming an ordinary human being who deserves to be respected [11].When one has forgiven, one will not think of taking revenge.He will make peace with his pain.
One of the main motivations for forgiveness is the fear that the child will inherit the parent's anger and the cycle of hurt, anger will continue.There are 3 indicators that can be used to express the thoughts of a forgiver: (1) leaving a negative assessment of the perpetrator; (2) have a rational explanation for the painful treatment; and (3) have a balanced view of the perpetrator [10].
Third, the interpersonal aspect.The interpersonal aspect of forgiveness is related to a person's encouragement and interpersonal behavior to forgive others.A person who has forgiven will change his behavior towards the person who hurt him by behaving positively such as smiling at the person who has hurt him [11].Another thing you can do is give a "gift" to the person who has hurt you, it doesn't have to be a physical object but depends on the circumstances.
There are 7 indicators that can reveal the interpersonal aspect of a forgiver: (1) abandoning hurtful behavior or words; (2) abandoning the desire for revenge; (3) abandoning indifferent behavior; (4) abandoning avoidance behavior; (5) increasing efforts at conciliation or reconciliation of relations; (6) motivation of kindness or generosity; and (7) deliberation with parties who have been perpetrators [10].
A forgiver will focus on the feelings, thoughts and attitudes of the object of forgiveness, not on himself.Forgiveness is not forgetting something that has caused the forgiver to be hurt or sick, nor is it calming down or just remaining silent when someone else interrupts or hurts them, or saying the words "I forgive your mistakes", justifying the wrong.Forgiveness is related to a person's motivation to make efforts to eliminate negative feelings towards other people's treatment.
If humans do not retaliate against people who have hurt them, their level is higher in front of Allah.As Allah SWT says: ".....and those who restrain their anger and forgive (mistakes) of others.And Allah loves those who do good" (Ali 'Imran: 134) [14].. "....and if you forgive and are polite and forgive (them), then indeed, Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful" (at-Taghabun: 14) [15].
There are several factors that can influence a person's forgiveness, these factors are categorized into two factors: internal (personal) factors and external (situational) factors [16].Internal factors that influence the act of forgiveness are: First, individual differences in supporting the norm of reciprocity in negative actions (Negative Reciprocity Norm).Negative reciprocity norms are a number of beliefs that support retribution as an appropriate and correct way to respond to treatment that is not positive or unfavorable [17].
Second, personality factors.The research results of Exline, et al, found that narcissistic entitlement can hinder forgiveness [16].
Narcissistic entitlement is different from narcissism which emphasizes self-admiration, explicit entitlement is more interpersonal, and emphasizing the assumptions a person has about how other people should treat him.Individuals who have this personality have the hope of receiving special treatment and preoccupation with defending their rights.So entitlement is quite difficult to forgive and urges for more repayment for past attacks.

Third, self-defense mechanisms (defense style). Maltby and Liz
Day suggest that the possibility and presence of positive forgiving attitudes, behavior and cognition does not mean the absence of negative forgiveness, related to neurotic defense styles (Undoin, pseudoaltruism, idealization formation) [16].So because self-defense mechanisms inhibit forgiveness, the effort to forgive requires more than just the absence of negative feelings, attitudes and cognitions about the violation or attack, but requires full and active management with positive ideas and behavior.
The defense mechanisms used by people are the first phase in determining the forgiveness process.Failure to forgive occurs in interpersonal relationships as a result of a neurotic defense style.
Fourth, contemplation of past events (rumination) and suppression.Generally, people who ruminate more about hurt feelings or attacks have a more difficult time being able to forgive.Intrusive ruminations about past assaults and efforts to suppress such ruminations were associated with higher levels of avoidance and retaliation motivation.On the other hand, people who ruminate less about attacks and are less suppressed will appear to be more forgiving.
People who have difficulty eliminating ruminations or thoughts about attacks generally have more difficulty when giving forgiveness [16].
People who report being supportive of retaliation are more likely to ruminate about the attack (cognitive rumination) and are also more likely to seek revenge following threats to selfesteem [18]; [19]; [20]; [21]; [16].
Fifth, the empathy factor.Levenson and Ruef state that empathy is a term that refers to three different qualities such as knowing what other people feel, what feelings other people feel, and responding with compassion to other people's suffering (distress) [16].What is interesting about this definition is the parallel with forgiveness which is based on the cognitive, affective and behavioral responses that accompany an interpersonal attack.
External factors that influence the act of forgiveness are: First, an apology (apology).Weiner et al., suggested that confessions that include apologies, deep feelings of guilt, regret, selfblame, and repair for attacks that have been carried out by attackers result in victims giving more positive evaluations, are more likely to make external attributions for the attacker's actions, and may be more amenable to forgiveness, especially if the confession is spontaneous [16].
Second, the severity of the attack (offense severity).Severe attacks according to the results of research that often appear using hypothetical written sketches are associated with ratings that the attacker should be punished, pay more reparations, and not be forgiven, as well as vindictive behavior [22]; [23]; [24]; [16].For several reasons, the severity of the attack experienced can influence the extent to which individuals are able to tolerate or forgive an offense [23]; [25]; [26]; [16].The severity of the attack can influence how the victim interprets an apology.
Third, the level of arousal.The results of experimental research show that the level of arousal experienced is also related to the victim's response to retaliation and apology [16].Interpersonal attacks increase the victim's physiological arousal reducing information that can reduce arousal.According to Zillman, et al, however, when individuals are in a state of high arousal despite apologies and mitigating explanations (accounts), hostility and retaliation remain high [16].
There are several stages in giving forgiveness that can be done.
Forgiveness has stages, namely uncovering, deciding, working, discovering.The following is an explanation of each stage of forgiveness [11].
First, uncovering.At the uncovering stage, individuals are made aware that they are wrong if they try to defend themselves, such as continuing to harbor feelings of anger and the desire for revenge, because all of these things will only bring suffering and pain, so that when they resist the attitude of defending themselves, a person will experience the experience of emotional ones (such as feelings of anger, shame, distress).However, in situations like this a person is encouraged to reinterpret what actually happened, and what negative impacts will occur if they continue to defend themselves.Second, deciding.At the decision stage, the individual is aware of what has happened and its impacts, the individual is encouraged to consider the option of forgiving the person who has hurt or hurt him, then make a decision and commit to this.Third, working.At the working stage, after the commitment is made, the commitment must be supported with sincerity, not just by apologizing, because if you only apologize without being sincere, the individual will be more vulnerable to feeling angry and resentful again.
Apart from sincerity, empathy is also needed.Fourth, discovering.The last stage is an important stage, namely discovering.After making a commitment with sincerity and empathy, individuals begin to find new meaning and purpose to build a better relationship with the person who has hurt them.

METHOD
The subjects in this research were students who had been or were currently in a group carrying out an academic assignment together.These students had felt disappointed and hurt by the behavior of members of the group.The number of subjects was 4 students, all of whom were female.This research used a qualitative approach with a phenomenological research design.This was done to find out more about student forgiveness.The data analysis method used in this research is thematic analysis.
Forgiveness is a way of leaving negative feelings, thoughts and interpersonal situations behind and cultivating positive feelings by erasing and forgetting all the hurt that has been experienced.In this research, respondents' forgiveness will be expressed using aspects of forgiveness [10].The guide and interview questions will be adjusted to these aspects.
Based on the explanation of the aspects in the theoretical review, researchers used emotional, cognitive and interpersonal aspects in preparing question items for psychological measuring instruments [10].

RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
Based on the interview process carried out, this article will explain the situations and conditions experienced by the four informants in the research, as explained in the following discussion: The first informant, has problematic group friends, such as she always comes late when doing group assignments, is never on time when collecting assignments, and likes to blame the environment around her when she doesn't understand the assignment that has to be done and she also never tries to ask her friends in group regarding to the task.
The second informant feels annoyed and disappointed with one of her task group friends, where the subject feels that her friend does not show any contribution to the task.The subject feels that her friend do not care about the assignments given by the lecturer, is too indifferent to the assignment, is more concerned with her own activities and can not be responsible for the assigned tasks so that the subject feel that she is not considered a friend of the group who has repeatedly provided motivation for her friend.
The third informant, feels annoyed and disappointed with her group friends because of her friend's attitude of taking the task given for granted, saying words that hurt the subject's feelings and not wanting to help the subject when asked for help, for example when the friend is entrusted with an assignment, her friend said that it will only be a waste of time if she has to do the task.
The fourth informant is one of her friends who considered problematic and disrupted the dynamics within the group.The subject once feels hurt because of some of the friend's behavior which the subject often remind her to change but does not heed.The subject often expresses her annoyance towards the person, so that the person may be somewhat offended or feel discomfort from the subject.However, because there are no significant changes felt by the subject, the subject tried to understand her friend's condition even though sometimes he is still upset.The subject is also disappointed because the friend can not make maximum effort to complete what is her responsibility.
The results of the interviews that have been conducted will be grouped based on the themes that emerge.Several themes obtained in the interview process with informants can be described as follows: First, conflict arises when the subject is in a task group.The random division of groups will allow for interaction between individuals who have different thoughts or opinions from each other.
Conflicts that occur in groups are part of the dynamics that occur when there are interactions with each other to achieve common goals.
Several conflicts that emerged in the group were expressed by informants in the interview process as follows: "This group really drains energy and mind, because in one group there are 4 people, 3 of them are women and 1 is a man, but one man should be the one who can be the leader, who is expected to be the leader, but he can't, instead he becomes a troublemaker" (informant 1: HM, P, lines [13][14][15][16][17][18] "I've been hurt, that's the group's job, so I do it myself" (informant 2: DN, P, lines 1-2) "Yes it is and until now she is still not aware of her behavior, even though I have already told her so.Not sensitive" (informant 3: MR, P, lines [14][15][16][17] "There are a lot of group assignments, several subjects, in general it is better to be invited to work together, and trust, for example, if there is already a division of tasks like that.Perhaps we have experienced a little internal conflict in the group, perhaps the trigger was one of our group friends like that" (informant 4: DT, P, lines [24][25][26][27][28][29][30][31][32] Second, the source of conflict comes from individuals in the group.The causes of conflict that occur and are felt by the subject come from internal sources or from fellow group members.There are things that make the subject feel uncomfortable through certain words, behavior or attitudes of colleagues which are the source of problems, and this is considered to be able to interfere with performance in the group.As shown in the following interview results: "There's one problem maker, he likes to be busy, he likes to be late when doing assignments, he doesn't submit it according to the deadline, he also likes to be late, come as he likes, there '

s too many excuses if he comes late, if he's told to do a task, sometimes doesn't do it according to what he's asked to do, that's how he likes to blame people, blame his group of friends like that" (informant 1: HM, P, lines 20-28) "So at that time I was already in a hurry to tell him, what did I say at that time and it was already rude, how come his response was just normal. I don't think it's considered." (informant 2: DN, P, lines 2-6) "We've helped him because it's a pity that he doesn't know anything. Then at that time we were helping each other, and I asked him to do one task and the answer was, don't you know, why do you have to do it like this, it's a waste of time. It hurts to know what he is saying" (informant 3: MR, P, lines 24-30)
"Personally, I also don't feel comfortable, for example, the assignments have been divided up, and then each of us has been explained that this assignment should be like this, the standards are like this, usually most of what I see doesn't meet the standards, even if it's done quickly.That's not optimal, even slow is not optimal" (informant 4: DT, P, lines 210-220) Third, initial feelings that arise as a reaction to the source of the problem.Feelings of anger, disappointment, hurt, and so on are forms of reaction shown by the subject when they first feel discomfort with the individual who is the source of the problem.This can be seen from the results of the interview as follows: "I was really hurt at that time, after I wanted to get angry, I thought about it first, do you think it's appropriate if I'm angry, if I'm angry, what's wrong with it?I'm afraid that if I'm already angry, I'll be too angry," (informant 1: HM, P, lines 53-57) "Annoyed, annoyed, angry too.Even when I tell stories to people, they get so annoyed that they get angry, to the point that they seem angry at the friend they are telling the story to, even though they are angry at the same group of friends" (informant 2: DN, P, [24][25][26][27][28] "

It hurts what he said. I just kept quiet, I didn't talk to him for a few days, if he asked, I just answered as necessary. "What disappointed me about him was his annoying talk, when he was already a graduate student, he couldn't control his words" (informant 3: MR, P, lines 29-35)
"In the beginning, personally, maybe my other friends felt disappointed at that time, because our group assignments had been divided up individually, so if, for example, there was one person who perhaps wasn't trustworthy enough, he wasn't optimal enough, that would have an impact on the group as well" (informant 4 : DT, P, lines 48-55) Fourth, the forgiveness process is carried out.Even though the subject feels discomfort when interacting with the individual who is the source of the problem, there is always a process carried out to find out and understand why this happened.The efforts made by the subject will show how the forgiveness process is carried out so that the interaction can be maintained well.
"I'm still worried even though I have forgiven, since the feedback I have forgiven, but learning to accept it is a process" (informant 1: HM, P, lines 82-84) "I never knew.Ask friends, ask them directly too."Indeed, the answer is that she is more interested in events outside campus," (informant 2: DN, P, lines 44-46) "I found out what kind of person this person was, until I asked her close friends, it turned out she only had one close friend on campus.Well, I asked what this person was like, her friend answered that she was really rich, her words were a bit annoying, then after that I tried to understand her because I also understand individual differences, I once told her about her attitude and she cried, but yeah ... I'm trying to accept her attitude" (informant 3: MR, P, lines 57-67) "God willing, we will try to understand it and understand ourselves more deeply" (informant 4: DT, P, lines 486-488) Fifth, there are efforts to maintain group stability.The conflict experienced by the subject in the group is felt as a form of group dynamics.Efforts are made to maintain group stability so that common goals can be achieved.This can be seen from the results of the interview as follows: "The acceptance is not yet full, it is still a process to want to care, so the acceptance is still half-hearted, so if for example I am asked to choose a group exchange, I would actually prefer a group exchange, but I can't" (informant 1: HM, P, lines 72-76) "Honestly, even now I still feel disappointed, but never mind, because I think it's a group assignment and we're in the same group, like it or not, I have to try to calm my ego."I'm trying to understand her, I'm sure I'll come back to thinking that if we get into a fight, the task will be over, it won't be finished, because it's our job" (informant 3: MR, P, lines 45-52) Sixth, an attitude of acceptance towards the source of the problem as part of the forgiveness process.The process of finding out the causes of problems is carried out as an attempt by the subject to understand and carry out the process of forgiving the source of the problem.This can be seen in the following interview results: "So, we tried with my other group friends to try to accept that that's how she was, several times his work was not optimal, so we accepted it, thank God she tried to do it" (informant 4: DT, P, lines 464-470 ) Seventh, there is an understanding of the concept of forgiveness.
In general, the subject already has an understanding of the concept of forgiveness, even though in reality it cannot be fully applied when in a conflict situation.This was also expressed by the subject in the interview as follows: "The characteristics of forgiveness are that you should be forgiven, remain on good terms, return to normal, that's the perfect characteristic of forgiveness in my opinion" (informant 1: HM, P, lines 107-110) "Forgiveness means accepting whatever someone else has done, accepting the attitude and characteristics shown by that person.Forgiveness is where we accept the attitudes and behavior of other people who demand this or that" (informant 2: DN, P, 145-149) "Forgiveness means we leave behind all the painful feelings, thoughts and actions we have experienced, we no longer remember them, but they become lessons for us" (informant 3: MR, P, lines 86-89) "The process of forgiveness starts from finding out why it could be like that, after that accepting, maybe she is like that, for example maybe the help is already overloaded, it seems like you need time to be alone, given time to yourself, after that maybe looking for another solution that might be according to.We can have a more positive impact on her, and the last thing we can do is pray for her, hoping that Allah will open the door to her heart" (informant 4: DT, P, lines 437-449) Eighth, feelings and attitudes after going through the forgiveness process.After going through several processes and efforts to accept the attitudes, words and behavior of the individual who is the source of the problem, there are reactions shown by the subject which are still part of the forgiveness process.
"No, I'm still worried, I have worries, I'm still nervous, if I could call it acceptance and forgiveness part 2, that's what it is.After the feedback was given, I felt more willing to forgive, it seemed like I was relieved, I was starting to be able to accept it too" (informant 1: HM, P, lines 156-160) "Yes, I smiled, reprimanded her, asked her how she was, then what else could I try to trust her again by just giving her another assignment, and she was willing to accept that too" (informant 3: MR, P, lines 70-73) "I feel more relieved, because in the beginning, maybe a few days when I was in a group with him, there were a lot of negative feelings or emotions, annoyance, disappointment, sadness, feeling sad about her, sad and sad to hear her life story, only recently in my process understanding it, maybe it's like that, you feel more relieved, you try more to always pray" (informant 4: DT, P, 504-515) Based on the results of interviews conducted with several research subjects, providing an overview of the subject's forgiveness process can be explained through aspects of forgiveness linked to the following research results [10]: First, the emotional aspect.The involvement of emotional aspects in the forgiveness process is demonstrated through the subject's ability to manage negative reactions such as anger or annoyance at other people's attitudes.Subjects also showed the ability to control emotions to remain stable when meeting people who had hurt them.Apart from that, the subject also has the desire to leave feelings of anger and annoyance towards other people in order to maintain a good relationship with the person who has hurt her.
Second, the cognitive aspect.In the cognitive aspect, forgiveness is demonstrated through the subject's knowledge of the concept of forgiveness itself, then being able to differentiate between behavior that shows forgiveness and behavior that does not forgive.Through several unpleasant behaviors received, the subject is able to think with good reason, so that the subject introspects himself on the behaviors he receives and does not easily blame others.From this self-introspection effort, the subject is able to learn lessons from her attitude to forgive other people's painful behavior that she has received or experienced.
Third, the interpersonal aspect.To maintain interpersonal relationships with other people, the subject makes efforts or behavior that shows forgiveness.This is shown through the behavior of the subject who maintains good habits in communicating with people who have been hurt.Next, the subject tries not to avoid the source of the problem or the person who hurt her.On the other hand, the subject shows a desire to resolve problems by discussing or continuing to communicate with the person who hurt him and discussing the causes and how to resolve the problem.In the end, the subject shows good acceptance of other people's behavior by understanding their attitudes and behavior and being willing to accept the good intentions of other people who want to change, and being able to become social support for other people who want to change to become better people.
Apart from revealing these aspects of forgiveness, the results of the interviews conducted also found forms of forgiveness as indicated by the subjects, as follows [10]: Psychomotor forms include smiling, saying hello, asking about conditions or activities that will be carried out, entrusting members with responsibility for carrying out tasks, and praying for the person who has hurt them so that they can change for the better.
The factors found in this research are related to the forgiveness process.This finding is also linked to an explanation of the factors that can influence a person's forgiveness which are categorized into two: external (situational) factors and internal (personal) factors [16].The explanation regarding the research findings is as follows: Situations that make people angry.The situation concerns the strengths and weaknesses of the problems that occur between the two parties.The more hurt you feel by the situation you are experiencing, the more difficult the forgiveness process will be.
There are concerns about the continuity of the group.Members who feel hurt will apologize to the individual who is the source of the problem, because they realize the importance of forgiveness for the continuity of group performance.Members will abandon negative feelings, thoughts and actions and try to understand the object that makes them angry.This is done because there are concerns about disrupting group stability or tasks not being completed as expected.
Positive input from the surrounding environment.Positive feedback and input from the surrounding environment, such as friends, seniors and mentors, is very much needed.If members receive input from the wrong person (give negative input), it will cause miscommunication and long-lasting problems.
Apology.This concerns objects that make you disappointed or angry.If the object or individual wants to apologize, then the member who feels hurt or disappointed will also apologize.
The final finding from this research is the process of forgiveness carried out by each subject.This is associated with a theory that explains the stages of forgiveness [11].An overview of the findings in this research can be explained as follows: First, self-talk.Initially someone will be very angry, disappointed and hurt because of various treatments, however, after a while they will feel burdened by their own attitudes, thoughts and actions.Within yourself there will be turmoil such as a battle between having to forgive, waiting for someone else to apologize, or looking for various reasons not to forgive someone else.In addition, people will talk to themselves about what they should do when painful events occur.
Second, advising.The turmoil that occurs within oneself makes a person feel uncomfortable.They will ask for input both from themselves and other people.If they ask for input from themselves, they will blame or justify their own behavior.If you ask for advice and feedback from other people, everything is left to other people but they are the ones who will decide.However, if self-talk doesn't work, most people will ask for input from other people to be more objective.In this process, the person who has been hurt must look for someone who will provide positive and more objective feedback so that it will be easier in the decision-making process to forgive and accept all forms of hurtful actions.
Third, deciding.This process occurs after asking for input from both yourself and others.The person who was hurt will decide whether to apologize or continue holding a grudge.At this stage, people who choose to forgive will forget all forms of negative actions that other people have committed, not bring it up and behave as if the problem never happened.Fourth, accepting.The final process is sincerely accepting the person who hurt you, leaving behind all forms of disappointment or feelings of pain, praying for the person who disappointed you so that they will receive forgiveness from Allah SWT.In this process, there is acceptance of changes in other people's attitudes wholeheartedly, helping without looking at the past or calculating the good and bad things that have been done.

First, in the
form of affection.All forms of positive feelings felt by someone towards someone who has hurt them, such as feeling that other people are not completely wrong, feeling sorry for that person because they have hurt themselves and others, even though they feel annoyed but try to understand and comprehend the feelings of the person who disappointed them.Second, in the form of cognition.All forms of positive thinking carried out by someone towards the person who made him sick.Forms of cognition include trying to understand other people's behavior (understanding individual differences), thinking about the condition of other people who are sick even though they have hurt them, not thinking about retaliating for mistakes made by other people, thinking about praying for other people to be safe and willing to change for the better.Third, in psychomotor form.All forms of behavior carried out by group members who have apologized to the person who hurt them.