The concept of sex education for children and adolescents in Quranic perspective (comparative study of Abdullah Nashih Ulwan and Muhammad Quraish Shihab)

The purpose of this study is to conduct a comparative analysis between the views of Abdullah Nashih Ulwan and Muhammad Quraish Shihab on the concept of sex education for children and adolescents. This research uses a qualitative approach of library research type. The main data source is the book Tarbiyatul Aulad by Abdullah Nashih Ulwan and Sexuality and Interaction; Education from the Perspective of the Quran and Sunnah by Muhammad Quraish Shihab. The results showed that according to Abdullah Nashih Ulwan, sexuality education is categorized into four stages: tamyiz (7-10 years), murohaqoh (10-14 years), puberty (14-16 years), and post-baligh. Meanwhile, Muhammad Quraish Shihab emphasizes the importance of providing sex education as early as possible by explaining the differences in human sex and appreciating the discussion of sexuality. Muhammad Quraish Shihab divides three phases of sexual education. First, pre-baligh I (toddler phase/0-5 years). Second, pre-baligh II (child phase/6-11 years). Third, the baligh phase (adolescence/12-25 years). Finally, the post-baligh phase. This research contributes theoretically about the concept of sex education for children and adolescents.


INTRODUCTION
This phenomenon is worse by the lack of strengthening of sex education both in families and in educational institutions.The low level of literacy regarding sexuality education for children and adolescents is partly due to errors in defining the term sexuality.Sex and sexuality have different definitions.Sex is defined as gender and in the sense of sexual intercourse, while sexual involves activities involving body organs, both physical and nonphysical (Mulia, 2015).
Sexuality closely related to aspects of human life, seen from various dimensions.First, biological factors, for example, health and proper and correct use of reproductive organs and deviations.Second, cultural and religious factors.Third, psychological factors are related to the emotions and motivation of each individual.However, there are still many wrong thoughts from some people regarding sex education.Some argue that sexuality refers to the meaning of studying the physical relationship between two parties to achieve physical pleasure (coitus), even though that is not the emphasis in the context of sex education (Shihab, 2023).
Referring to the Al-Quran, many verses hint at sexuality education literacy.In the Quran, according to Quraish Shihab, topics related to sex education need to be discussed thoroughly, even if they are considered taboo."The human creation process cannot be dissociate from biology." fertilization of an egg until it grows into a fetus and is born as another creature in Qs.Al-Mu'minun/ 24: 12-14 is called khalqan akhar / human everything is detailed.
Apart from describing the process of fetal growth and development in a woman's womb, several verses in the Al-Quran that hint at sexuality education include First, Qs.Al-Baqarah/2: 187, which concerns the incident experienced by a friend of the Prophet Saw who had intimate relations/sex with his legal partner on the night of the month of Ramadan.They regret it.After all, they thought it was forbidden because they saw this relationship as not being in line with the sanctity of Ramadan.
The verse mentioned in the text was explicitly revealed in response to an incident that occurred with one of the Prophet's companions.This unequivocally confirms that the Quran is not only a source of spiritual guidance but also a testament to the fact that fasting does not necessitate separation from one's physical needs.
Apart from hinting at verses about the biological mixing of husband and wife, the Al-Quran also states that several vocabulary words refer to sexual activities, which clearly and politely mention guidance and teaching, for example first, ghasyan in Qs.Al-A'raf/7: 189 which uses the lafadz ' taghassya-ha ' which means covering.This verse speaks in the context of the Prophet Adam interfering with Siti Hawa and becoming pregnant.In this case, taghassya means that the position of sexual intercourse should cover each other/not be visible to the other party.Shame is seen well by humans, angels, and especially Allah SWT.
Second, the duration in Qs.An-Nisa'/4: 43 which is used for sexual relations.Ulama explain the difference between massa, lamasa and laamasa.Massa is defined as touching quickly, while the duration of touching takes a long time.Meanwhile, laamasa is used as a reciprocal touching of two objects, so that the impact is felt and clear.
Third, rafats in Qs.Al-Baqarah/2: 187 which means beautiful and pleasant words spoken before sexual intercourse/making out, then the meaning develops metaphorically so that this verse means that there is an impact of fondling so that intercourse occurs.The use of this word shows that intercourse should start with romantic activities/words to create a comfortable atmosphere between the two of them.Islamic teachings are realistic and humane.The term "rafats" is interpreted as sexual intercourse and is also mentioned in the following verse which describes husband and wife as clothing.
Fourth, realize that sex is a need for husband and wife, therefore, in Qs.Al-Baqarah/2: 187 reads, ' hunna libasun lakum wa antum libasun lahunn/ they (wives) are clothes for you (husbands) and you are clothes for them'.Clothing serves as a means of protecting the body.In the same way, a husband and wife should be like clothes that cover each other's shortcomings.People should take care of one another, safeguard each other, and fulfill each other's needs.
Fifth, afdha in Qs.An-Nisa'/4: 21 regarding the prohibition for husbands who want to divorce their wives and take back (even a little) what they have given their wives." How will you take it back when some of you have socialized widely (as widely and freely as possible) with others and those wives have taken from you a strong agreement (to live together and keep each other's secrets?)" In the Qur'an, the relationship between husband and wife is called "afdhan".This Arabic term has a broad interpretation.For instance, space is referred to as "fadha'" in Arabic because of its vastness.However, the paragraph above does not fully explain the meaning of "afdhan" in the context of the husband and wife relationship.
The use of lafadz "afdhan" suggests that in the husband and wife relationship, they should be open to each other and fully aware of each other's condition.This understanding should not be limited to the physical aspect of their relationship but should extend to their emotions, thoughts, and everything unlimited.
Wrote that the word "afdhan" in the Arabic language, which means intercourse between husband and wife, is not limited to physical relationships.It includes a wide range of emotions, feelings, secrets, and anxieties that come to mind during the act.The word encompasses the reciprocal relationship of husband and wife throughout the night, every moment spent together, whether happy, sad, or anxious, every meeting, separation, and longing that comes with it.(Quthb, 2003) These words above illustrated by the following verse: "And take from among you a group of people who are witnesses to the contract" (Quran 4:35).This contract is closely related to the husband's role as a qawwam (protector and guardian) of his wife as stated in Quran 4:34.The contract is made in front of the wife's parents, witnessed by many parties and ultimately by Allah himself.
In Surah Al-Baqarah/2:223, the Quran uses an analogy to describe the relationship between a husband and his wife.The verse states, Nisaa-ukum hartsun lakum fa'tu hartsakum annaa syi'tum/"Your wives are a place of cultivation for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish."This verse emphasizes that a wife is like a land that a farmer cultivates and takes care of by providing enough water and fertilizer so that the plants grow well.Just as a farmer plants seeds and takes care of them until they grow and bear fruit, a husband should also take care of his wife and provide for her needs.The verses from the Al-Quran provide helpful and comprehensive guidance on sexuality education.They serve as a guide for us to choose the appropriate way and time to provide sex education to children and adolescents (Waller, 2012).
These words above provides that it is important to deliver the material in a way that is suitable for their age and readiness.The benefits of providing appropriate sexuality education include a complete understanding of sexuality, including guidance on relationships between husband and wife, as well as prevention of sexual deviations, particularly in the digital era.This research will discuss the definition, insight, and scope of sex education, as well as the importance of sex education for children and adolescents, according to two well-known scholars, Abdullah Nashih Ulwan and Muhammad Quraish Shihab.

METHOD
This research strongly advocates for a qualitative approach that relies solely on library resources to gather research data.It emphatically recommends limiting the scope of any research activity to library materials without any requirement for field research.Furthermore, this research firmly adopts a comparative study approach, analyzing the concept of sexuality education for children based on the perspectives of Abdullah Nashih Ulwan and Muhammad Quraish Sihab (Zed, 2004).The researcher also cited two major works from Abdullah Nashih Ulwan (At-Tarbiyah al-Aulad fi Islam) and Muhammad Quraish Shihab (Tafsir Al-Mishbah and his especially book about sexual education; Sexuality and Interaction; Education from the Perspective of the Quran and Sunnah.to strengthen their views on sexual education.

RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
Sexuality education is often considered a sensitive topic by many, but in fact, it is aligned with the principles of the Al-Quran, which provides clear and comprehensive guidance on the subject.Two scholars who provide a deep understanding of this subject are Abdullah Nashih Ulwan and Muhammad Quraish Shihab.According to Abdullah Nashih Ulwan, the most crucial responsibility in Islam is that of educators, including parents and teachers, towards children.The term "educators" includes teachers in formal schools as well as teachers in children's education (Atabik & Burhanuddin, 2015).
Children are born with physical and psychological perfection.However, as they grow and develop, their upbringing, environment, and social circle shape them.It is essential that parents provide internal education and guidance to strengthen their children's mental, physical, psychological, financial, and spiritual health.The Al-Quran advises against leaving a weak generation, as referred to as dzurriyatan dhi'afan in Qs.An-Nisa'/4:9.
Children, as both individuals and social beings, have the right to receive an education that caters to their specific needs and abilities.It is imperative to provide children with an education that will help them grow and develop intelligently, according to their potential, so that they can become successful members of society in the future (Suyadi, 2011).The early years of a child's life witness the maximum development of their brain, with 80% of overall brain development taking place during this time.This period is so crucial that it is often referred to as the golden age.
In his book "Tarbiyatul Aulad fi al-Islam," Abdullah Nashih Ulwan asserts that for students to succeed in education, they must have a role model.As primary educators, parents have the crucial responsibility of setting an example and displaying a noble personality that will shape their children's morals.This is a complex responsibility that relates to improving their children's souls.Second, the habituation method is the second step in encouraging children to worship at home.Once parents have successfully introduced the obligation to pray at home, they can move on to this phase.By introducing children to prayer from an early age, they become accustomed to praying on their own.As a result, parents no longer need to resort to verbal, psychological, or physical violence to get their children to pray.Instead, children will naturally and happily want to pray.
Third, as parents, we face many challenges and obstacles in our journey of parenting.
One such challenge is when our children find it difficult to join us in prayer due to various reasons like being tired, bored, or having too much work from school.In such situations, we must be patient and persistent in inviting them to join us in prayer.Surah Thaha/ 132 advise parents to remain patient in inviting their children to pray, and not to get bored of being a role model.
Fourth, pay attention is a crucial method for parents raising their children with religious values.The process of being a parent is life-long, and it never stops.Therefore, parents should understand that they have a responsibility to support, motivate, and provide attention to their children even when they become adults.Children may experience ups and downs in their faith, but it is important for parents to continue to provide support to ensure their children's spiritual growth.
Fifth, parental supervision is also critical in ensuring that children maintain their religious values.Although parents may not be able to accompany their children at all times, they can still provide supervision, especially in today's digital era.However, this supervision can be challenging, as children have easy access to information due to technology.The best way to provide supervision is to instill the belief that Allah is watching over them at all times.This will help children maintain their religious values and stay on the right path.
Sixth, The punishment method.Children require guidance in their educational process, and lessons should be seen as a method of education rather than a punishment for mistakes they have made.The practice of giving physical punishment, such as hitting, pinching, or slapping, to children has caused much debate among observers and practitioners of children's education, with some believing it to be a form of violence that must be stopped.
The hadith of the Prophet states that parents should encourage their children to pray when they are seven years old.If the child doesn't listen, parents should use gentle methods to discipline them.If the child still doesn't listen by the time they are ten years old, parents may use a light physical punishment as a last resort.This punishment should be in accordance with Sharia law and not fueled by anger.It's important to note that physical punishment should only be used for serious mistakes that need correcting.Some of the educational methods criticized by Ulwan require good cooperation from both parents to instill good values in children.Parenting responsibility is not only directed at one parent but both should be responsible for educating their children, including providing education on sexuality.Ulwan believes that Islamic education in the family encourages parents to always seek knowledge, especially knowledge in educating children (Haryanti & Romli, 2021).
Abdullah Nashih Ulwan believes that parents need to have sufficient knowledge about parenting to raise their children properly.He suggests that every child has their own unique character, intelligence, abilities, and emotions.To educate children holistically, Ulwan emphasizes the importance of faith, morals, physical, cognitive, psychological, social, and sexual education.By following these concepts, children can develop mentally, morally, scientifically, spiritually, and socially to reach their full potential.Ulwan's educational foundation is based on the Quran and Sunnah, and he believes that Prophet Muhammad is the best role model for Muslims, as mentioned in Surah al-Ahzab verse 21 (Syarifuddin & Fauzi, 2019).
Sexuality education is a subject that is widely researched by academics.According to Bruess and Greenberg, sexuality education involves fully providing information about sexuality, considering its integral nature to human sexuality.They identify four components of human sexuality: social, psychological, moral, and biological.(Irmayanti & Zuroida, 2019) Sexuality education aims to help individuals understand healthy social behavior and the consequences that may occur around sexual issues (Madani, 2003).
It is important to provide age-appropriate sex education to children including: (Ratnasari & Alias, 2016), At toddler age, the aim is to introduce the sexual organs they have by explaining other body parts along with their functions and ways to maintain and care for them.It is crucial to start sex education from an early age to prevent potential problems from arising later in life.If children are not properly educated, they may develop inappropriate habits such as touching their genitals before sleeping or touching other people's breasts.From ages 6-10, it's essential to teach children about gender differences, human origins, and proper genital hygiene to avoid disease.As they approach adolescence, sex education must include information about puberty, body changes, and harmful sexual behavior, such as casual sex.
Above all, the principle of saying no to premarital sex must be instilled.
The primary aim of sex education is not just to impart knowledge about sexuality but also to encourage personal experiences related to it.Sexual education should align with societal values, including religious values.A comprehensive explanation of the goals of sex education is as follows (Susanti, 2020, Adam, 2019) First, provide sufficient understanding regarding the physical, mental changes, and emotional maturity processes associated with sexual problems in adolescents.Second, it reduces fear and anxiety related to sexual development and adjustment.Third, provide an understanding of sex in all its varied manifestations, and provide an understanding that relationships between humans can bring satisfaction to both individuals and family life.
Fourth, provide an understanding of the need for essential moral values in making decisions and relating to sexual behavior.Fifth, provide knowledge about sexual deviations so that individuals can protect themselves and protect themselves from exploitation that can harm their physical and mental health.Sixth, reducing prostitution, irrational sexual fears, and excessive sex seeking.Seventh, provide understanding to individuals to be able to carry out sexual activities effectively and creatively in various roles, for example as wife or husband, parent, or member of society.
According to Nahda Kurnia and Ellen Tjandra in their book entitled "Mother, What is Sex?Smart and Wise Ways to Explain Sex to Children, " states that there are many advantages or benefits in giving sex to children, here are some of them: 1).Improve children's social skills.2).Develop children's ability to convey messages assertively.3).Build children's independence better.4).Make children more responsible in their behavior.5).Can reduce children's risk of sexual crimes, contracting diseases, and unwanted pregnancies.6).Enable children to submit reports if sexual crimes occur.7).Empower children to choose appropriate attitudes and behaviors that align with social expectations.. 8).Enable children to choose healthier actions (Kurnia & Tjandra, 2012).
According to Abdullah Nashih Ulwan, sex education entails providing clear teachings, understanding, and information to children when they reach an age where they understand concepts related to sex and marriage.Therefore, when children hit puberty and comprehend things related to their lives, they will know what is permissible and impermissible (halal and haram) and be familiar with Islamic morals.Having a good attitude, they will not indulge in their passions and not allow anything that goes against these morals (Ulwan, 2020).
According to Abdullah Nashih Ulwan, sexual education is an effort to teach children about sexual problems, instincts, and marriage.The goal is to raise awareness and provide information to children so that they can understand what is forbidden and permissible, and be protected from sexual deviations and crimes as they grow older.By doing so, children can be kept safe and secure.
Sex education is more than just learning about body parts or sexual activities.It's also about teaching children Islamic values, morals, and habits so that they can resist the temptation of a hedonistic lifestyle.Experts agree that sex education should be provided at an appropriate age based on the child's readiness.Abdullah Nashih Ulwan himself underlined that there are four phases in providing sex education that are appropriate to the age and development of children, including; First, during the first phase, known as Tamyiz, children aged between 7 and 10 are taught the proper manners of seeking permission and observing etiquettes.. Second, during the second phase of childhood, which is typically between the ages of 10 and 14, it is crucial to keep children away from any potentially harmful sexual stimuli to ensure their safety and well-being.Third During the puberty phase or adolescence, which typically occurs between 14-16 years of age, children are taught proper sexual ethics and behavior in preparation for marriage.
Fourth phase is the post-baligh phase, which begins after puberty and is known as the age of youth or adulthood.During this phase, children are taught the importance of protecting themselves from behaviors that are prohibited by their religion, especially if they are not yet able to get married.This phase is crucial for developing ethical values and preparing young people for a responsible and mature adulthood.
The chart below shows the different stages of a child's growth and development and provides appropriate descriptions for introducing sex education.

No.
Phase Description 1 Tamyiz period, when the child is between 7-10 years old.
In this phase, children are taught the etiquette of asking for permission before entering parents' or other people's rooms, as well as the etiquette of looking at the opposite sex Murahaqah period, when the child is between 10 -14 years old In this phase children already know their body and need to be guided from everything that leads to sex 3 Puberty period, when children are between 14 -16 years old.In each phase, parents play a vital role in supporting their children.
Abdullah Nashih Ulwan emphasizes four aspects in tarbiyah al-jinsiyyah.On the other hand, Muhammad Quraish Shihab believes that sex education is directly linked to the development of monotheism in children, particularly in the process of human creation.The stages of the human creation process are mentioned in the Al-Quran, starting from the ejaculation of sperm (Qs.Al-Qiyamah/75: 37) and also characterizing among other things, by ma'in mahin , namely fluid that is very little and is underestimated (Qs.As-Sajdah/32: 8) as well as ma'in dafiq, water that gushes out without being able to be stopped even by its owner (Qs.Ath-Thariq /86: 6).Next, there is also nuthfah, which is a drop of water that wets the ovum to create 'alaqah , which is a zygote that hangs and attaches to the wall of the uterus, then mudghah, which is something small (as small as something that can be chewed).Then, mudghah which are bones wrapped in flesh and physically perfect, Allah breathes the soul into them so that humans are born perfect, this is explained in Qs.Al-Mu'minun/23: 14.
The Qur'an not only provides information about the stages of human creation, which is in perfect agreement with the views of embryologists, but it also demonstrates the absolute power of Allah.The creation of humans from a lowly fluid that is fused with an egg cell until it develops into a fetus illustrates the fragility of human beings.The essence of monotheism in the process of human creation is the spirit that is breathed into humans.This spirit is what sets humans apart from other creatures.The way humans behave and channel their sexual desires is interconnected with the spirit they possess and is expected to be in full accordance with the Shari'ah in front of the Khaliq (Shihab, 2023: 46).The cultivation of monotheism regarding the process of human creation can be provided to children as early as possible.
The sexual needs that are inherent in normal humans, their demands become stronger since entering adulthood; they are like the need to eat which can cause disturbances for those who are hungry if they do not find food.To get food, humans have to try to get food that is ready to eat.Likewise with sexual needs, stealing or eating other people's food is not permitted.Excessive eating, which is not nutritious is also not condoned.Eat in proportion, not too much and not too little.This is the analogy of sexual needs as biological needs, such as the need for food in humans, because Islam has come to guide so that humans can obtain physical and spiritual benefits from their sexual activities, rather than reducing them to or ignoring elements of their human needs.
Islam views that channeling sexual needs is necessary at the right time, but controlling it can be done and is not dangerous as long as it does not give rise to depression.One way to control lust and avoid depression, according to Quraish Shihab, is to connect sex with the soul, among other things, through attention and the practice of religious values.
The physical and spiritual aspects of human beings are interconnected and cannot be separated.Both needs must be filled in a balanced manner.The physical element requires humans to be able to move and do good deeds with their physical strength, while the spiritual element adorns them with faith and morals, inviting them to know God.The human body and the various instincts that God has bestowed upon it, including the sexual instinct, are not just tools to fulfill physical tendencies but are tools to achieve human status.
Humans in the Islamic view, according to Muhammad Quraish Shihab, are not like the opinion of Sigmund Freud  who argued that humans are only figures who are phase (adolescents/ 12-25 yo), parents able to accompany their children in the learning process, validate their emotions, be a good storytellers for their children and also protect their self to others who aren't mahram.Last, Post Baligh phase.Parents provide household guidance, including regarding intimate and ma'ruf relationships with their husband/wife.
Ulwan emphasizes that there are seven main points of education that parents must give to their children: intellectual education, psychological education, moral education, faith education, physical education, social education, and sexual education.Sexual education is one of the seven rights that parents must give to their children.It has an important essence that involves mutual awareness and nature-based care for children regarding the obligation to introduce and educate them about sexuality from an early age.Nature-based sexuality education is by the goals of Islamic education so that children are aware of who they are, what their position is as creatures, and their responsibilities to Khaliq.According to Ulwan, Islamic education aims to shape children into those who have faith, noble character, and morals.The methods used are by Islamic teachings, which include methods by example, methods by habituation, methods by advice, attention method, supervision method, and punishment method.

First,
Parents play a crucial role in shaping their children's beliefs and behaviors.They act as role models and set an example in their children's lives.Therefore, it is important for both parents to be open to learning about various aspects of faith, including tawheed, fiqh, and akhlak (ethics/morals), as well as the knowledge required for their children's selfdevelopment.By being aware and willing to learn, parents create a warm and conducive environment for their children to grow and learn.